Romance testing for #careerlions
For the past year, I have been happily in love (to the point that I am getting sick of myself, believe me), but I wouldn’t be a true #careerlion if I wouldn’t attempt to rationalize and optimize even that (irrational and especially emotional) part of my life. Today I am carefully touching on a subject we rarely talk about on the blog, which is romantic relationships. Because, even though we know there are chemicals involved that cause the heart melting and nausea, there must be some elements that we can dig into a little bit deeper to improve mutual understanding or just put your (perceived) compatibility to the test. A little disclaimer: I am in no way a relationship or love expert (if anything, I lean on the awkward side of the spectrum) and in no way, claim to be an example girlfriend. I am just simply sharing some of my (fun) experiences that have to be read with a little grain of salt. For entertainment purposes only.
Get objective insights into each other’s personality
It all starts with personalities. By now, you know you’ve fallen for each other, but to make a relationship work (in the long run) you might need to get some insights into each other’s personality and preferences. One way I did is the 16personalities test. I am an extraverted and assertive campaigner, while the boyfriend is an observant consul. One of the major takeaways I got from doing the test together is that he enjoys knowing how my full day went into the tiny details. While before reading this from his test results I was anxious to be boring him with all the ins and outs of my day.
Learn your love language
In his book The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate, Gary Chapman elaborates on the five kinds of communication one can use to express their love for another. These are called the five love languages:
- Quality Time
- Words of Affirmation
- Acts of Service
- Receiving Gifts
- Physical Touch
I did the test and my scores (with 30 points to be divided) were as follows (from most important to least important): Quality time (10), Words of Affirmation (9), Physical Touch (6), Acts of Service (3) and Receiving Gifts (2). This means that quality time is the most important to me, which we try to have during the weekends. I especially love our lazy Saturday mornings, where we sleep in a little bit and have brunch together after my yoga class. Even though I only scored two points for receiving gifts, I still wouldn’t mind a surprise Chanel bag (duh). Here’s the link to do the test yourself.
Build a physical project
Oh yes, you might have heard of it: The true relationship test is whenever you can build an IKEA Pax closet without having a fight. I never understood what was so hard about it, until I got the chance to build the notorious closet with the boyfriend. We got through it without fighting (but have been slightly in each other’s allergy zone) even though he (accidentally, or at least he claimed) hammered my finger. Tips I can give you, based on what I learned through this experience:
- Point out one person that is responsible for reading the instructions. Really, two people can have two perceptions, which overcomplicates the relatively simple task.
- Stretch out a large amount time box to assemble the closet relaxed.
- Take a break periodically to avoid getting tired and cranky.
Most importantly, don’t forget to have fun! It’s a nice activity with an even nicer outcome, hello more wardrobe space (YES! That means you need to buy more clothes to fill up the closet space, on the boyfriend’s expense preferably)!
So, what do you think? Are you ready to put your relationship to the test?