Why you need to be an influencer
Before you think I will give some advice on how to find an #instahusband, let me assure you that this is not the type of influencer that I am talking about today! The type of influencer I am referring to can be defined as follows: someone who affects or changes the way that people behave. It’s one thing to have defined goals (these are my 30 goals before I am 30) and make a plan to achieve them, but sometimes you need other people in order to reach those goals. Therefore, it is important to get a little bit into how to actually influence others. Lucky for you, that is today’s topic! Read on, if you want to learn more.
How making friends can help
Influencing is best achieved when people at least think of you in a friendly way. In his book, How to win friends and influence people, Dale Carnegie explains six principles to make people like you instantly:
- Become genuinely interested in other people.
- Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
- Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
- Talk in terms of the other person’s interest.
- Make the other feel important – and do it sincerely.
Sounds simple, right? The execution, however, can be a little bit of a different story. Try to turn it the other way around and think about people (or moments) that you dislike. Personally, I am not really charmed if people are saying my name incorrectly (principle 3) or are asking questions regarding the thing I just explained (principle 4). The worst thing is I regularly catch myself breaking one of these principles as well. Especially, being a good listener is quite the challenge as my thoughts float away in a matter of seconds. The way I try to be better? I write STFU on a little corner of my notebook, to remind me to simply Shut The F*ck Up and listen! Curious on more ways to be likable? Find out more.
Get misconceptions out of the way
Like the title of the book 30 methods of influencing suggests, Stephen R. Covey elaborates on 30 methods of influencing. It is a nice summary of little ways one can influence another through being an example, building close relationships, and being a mentor. My favourite part of the book, however, is where Covey elaborates on the biggest misconceptions of influencing. Here’s a short summary:
- Give advice first, then understand. A classic misconception that probably of us are guilty of, even though we have the best intentions. The solution here is simple in concept: Empathize first! Try to understand the other first, before trying to be understood.
- Attempting to build or recover relationships without changing your attitude or behavior. Actions speak louder than words when it comes to this, therefore you need to be sincere and consistent through both words and actions.
- Assuming being a good example and having a relationship is enough. Us people tend to think it is sufficient to have a good relationship with others and set a good example to achieve our goals. However, one also needs to communicate and be transparent about their vision, mission, goals, and expectations.
Will you be applying one of these methods to positively influence the people around you? What are the ways you influence others? Let us know in the comments below!