The journey in learning the subtle arts to living a good life
It’s been a while since I started my journey into caring less, or better said be more careful what to care about. As I need a reminder every now and then, I figured so could you #careerlions. My number one supporter and reminder? My brother! He’s also the person that gave me Mark Manson’s book called The subtle art of not giving a f*ck. As describe in the subtitle the book is supposed to give one insights into a counterintuitive approach to living a good life. Here are my three personal takeaways from the book.
Quit the feedback loop from hell
I know feedback loop from hell sounds a little more intimidating than your regular self-help tip. In his book, Manson declares a borderline epidemic has been caused by the feedback loop from hell. The epidemic results in many people overly stressed, overly neurotic and overly self-loathing. Now what is it exactly you might ask? It’s a way we’re talking negatively to ourselves. An example: I get kind of anxious from time to time. Whenever I feel anxiety coming up, I get even more anxious about the fact that I am feeling the anxiety building. Then I get frustrated about feeling anxious and get even more anxious about the fact that I am frustrated. As this is making me feel horrible, I am pretty sure the concept originates from hell. In this particular example, it revolves around anxiety, but the same applies for being angry, impatient, unhappy etcetera. Sounds familiar?
Choose your struggle
Manson identifies two facts about having struggles in life. Fact number one: People are bound to have problems in life. Fact number two: It makes people feel alive to find solutions for their problems. Therefore, it is only plausible that in life we will always have problems to solve. The trick here is to consciously choose what problems you would like to struggle with. As for myself, working out regularly and consistently is a huge struggle, but one I really enjoy when solved. The same applies for investing in my job, careerlions.com and inner social circle. Being a cool kid that goes to the club every weekend? Believe me, not my kind of struggle.
Experience freedom through commitment
Often, freedom is linked to being uncommitted. We have all the options in the world, which makes us free. Manson actually states the opposite. He proposes that freedom is experienced whenever you are committed to a certain goal, struggle, person or whatever it applies to. By committing to certain parts of your life, you’ll be able to refuse options that don’t add value to your personal commitments, which is supposed to be liberating. In addition, you will not be overwhelmed by all kind of broad experiences and are able to invest in the depth of experiences. That last one is supposed to add to our total happiness, so definitely a tip that I will apply (and will get rid of the little remaining FOMO once and for all).
The verdict? Manson has written a good book that reads quickly. It’s to the point and written with a lot of humour, just the way I like it. More of Manson’s work can be found on his blog. So how is your journey into learning the subtle arts of not giving a f*ck? As I mentioned, I could definitely use a reminder every now and then, so drop your tips and tricks in the comments below.